The 10 Most Bizarre Injuries in Premier League History

Most people think footballers are stupid. While Joey Barton may try his hardest to disprove that by quoting Socrates on Twitter, it's largely true. The proof is revealed in just about everyone of these injuries. Forget a Roy Keane knee-high, two footed dropkick, the real danger is off the pitch. Just as the following ten footballers found out. 10. Alan Tate Swansea vice-captain at the time, Tate, had just played a big part in taking his team to the promised land that is the Premier League. Hooray! Just three games into the Swans' debut season in the top-flight, Tate breaks his leg. How? Tate was the passenger of a golf buggy that had lost control, crashed into a tree and left Tate with a broken tibia, keeping him out of the Swansea side for six months. I suppose that's one to FORE-get for Tate, right? Right? No? O.K. let's move on. 9. Liam Lawrence Lawrence has been dogged by some rotten luck in his time. He was part of the Sunderland team that recorded the lowest tally of points in the Premier League - at the time. He then joined a Portsmouth side that was struggling to keep their heads above the water financially. While at Stoke, Lawrence got up in the middle of the night. While making his way downstairs, Lawrence stood on his Labrador and fell, spraining his ankle in the process. Tony Pulis wasn't too pleased, but fortunately Lawrence only missed one game. Lawrence has been dogged with stick ever since. 8. Dave Beasant In modern day football, goalkeepers need to be adept with their feet as well as with their hands. Beasant had a brief moment in 1993 where he failed in both departments. When making a sandwich at home, Beasant managed to fumble a jar of salad cream after grabbing it from his refrigerator. The former Chelsea man's instinct was to save the jar by sticking out a foot to prevent a salad cream and glass mess on his kitchen floor. The jar was saved, but Beasant wouldn't be saving any shots for eight-weeks after, severing the tendon in his big toe. 7. David Batty Batty is known as a bit of a hard man. So, it would have to take something pretty drastic to keep him out for several weeks right? Well if I told you the former Leeds man was involved in a horrific motor accident, then that would surely be a good enough excuse wouldn't it? Not when you find out that the motor was his three year-old daughters tricycle. While Batty was recovering from an ankle ligament injury, his daughter (who was presumably driving well over the speed limit) ran over her dad's ankle, keeping the former England international out for even longer. She presumably had three points added to her license. 6. Kevin Kyle Kids aye? It gets worse. Ex-Sunderland lump Kevin Kyle didn't exactly set the world alight in the Premier League and is probably more well known for this eye-watering injury. While preparing a jug of boiling water to feed his 18-month-old son, the former Scotland international probably wasn't expecting the contents of that jug to end up on him. More specifically, his crotch. Kyle spent the night in hospital, and even had to miss Sunderland's next game. Apparently, it was incredibly easy to nutmeg Kyle in the days after the incident. 5. Alan Wright Anybody who berates the average overpaid footballer will be sniggering at this story. For anybody unaware with the former Aston Villa full-back, Alan Wright is by no means an aerial threat. The shortest player in the history of the Premier League at a wee 5 foot 4 inches. So, when Wright splashed the cash on a Ferrari, the grief he must have received when he strained his knee reaching for the accelerator must have been a little painful. The defender promptly exchanged the car for a Rover 416 and has never been allowed to live it down since. 4. Darius Vassell Not one for disproving the stereotype of your average footballer, Darius Vassell decided to have a go at a bit of DIY. Although the former England striker wasn't putting up shelves or plastering a wall... Upon discovering that he had a blister beneath his big toe, instead of asking a professional to have a look at it, Vassell went to his tool box. Picking out his trusty power drill, the former Aston Villa and Manchester City striker gave the blister one hell of a drilling. The blister was relieved, but the blood infection as a result of the procedure left Villa without their key striker for a number of crucial games. 3. Richard Wright The former England 'keeper may well be the most unlucky player on this list. When he first started his career he was tipped to be the next big thing for England. However, after his £6 million move to Arsenal, his career never really took off. His five-year spell at Everton was a miserable period, hampered by injuries, with two of his injuries being hopelessly laughable. Wright's first injury includes him falling out of his parent's loft and injuring his shoulder, missing eight weeks and all of Everton's pre-season. Then Wright twisted his ankle after landing on a sign saying 'Do not warm up in the goalmouth', during the warm up. Who says karma doesn't exist? 2. David James/Rio Ferdinand/Robbie Keane/Carlo Cudicini/David Seaman This sort of injury is surprisingly common amongst footballers! All five mentioned were apparently lounging around in front of the television when they managed to do more than change the channel. Ferdinand strained a tendon in his knee after not moving for over four hours. Seaman injured his hand while changing the channel. The other three all found themselves on the sidelines after reaching for their TV remote; James strained his back, while Keane and Cudicini both injured their knee. Never had anything taken five players out of the game again until Lionel Messi debuted. 1. Michael Stensgaard I hear you. Who's Michael Stensgaard? It could very well have been so different. The Dane joined Liverpool for £400,000 as an understudy to David James in 1994, with plenty of promise and eight appearances for the Denmark Under-21's. Despite his impressive pedigree, he ended up never playing competitively for the Reds. Why you ask? Stensgaard was involved in an ironing accident shortly after he joined the club. What did he do? Burn himself? Drop the iron on his foot?! Nope. He dislocated his shoulder setting up the ironing board. It gets even worse when you discover that the injury became a regular recurrence, keeping him out of the side until he left in 1996. Stensgaard would later retire after series of injuries at the age of 26. The Dane would later have a film made about his career called 'Iron Man'. That wasn't about him? Nothing seems to have gone right for poor Stensgaard.